Christmas day and nothing from Adam.No card,phone call or e-mail despite me leaving a message for him.How can your own child hate you so much?
Thank heavens for Hannah and Debbie who phoned me today.
So it looks like it's just Geraldine and I for the rest of our lives.
We are both hurting like hell today and know that we will be both be glad when Christmas is all over and the bombardment of you can only be happy surrounded by your family is finished.
Friday, 25 December 2009
Saturday, 7 November 2009
Liberation
Last thursday I had a doctors appointment to discuss the latest blood tests.It is now the case that on HRT alone my hormones are now at female level and I will not be required to take anti androgens.So no more blood tests!!!
I felt this strangely liberating and the jumping through hoops and over hurdles has gone.I realise for some surgery is a must have and I understand this but for me it is far more to do with what's between the ears than between the legs.
I am fully accepted in society as me so at my age what more can you ask?
Busier and happier than I have ever been
I felt this strangely liberating and the jumping through hoops and over hurdles has gone.I realise for some surgery is a must have and I understand this but for me it is far more to do with what's between the ears than between the legs.
I am fully accepted in society as me so at my age what more can you ask?
Busier and happier than I have ever been
Sunday, 12 July 2009
It's been ages
Been absolutely ages since I have posted but Geraldine is in Respite for a few days so I have time.
I miss her,of course,but the mornings are lovely. No rushing around to get her ready and the bathroom is mine,all mine!
We have been doing a lot of planning since we returned from holiday and I have been getting my life in some type of order.Our future plans are not set in stone yet due to medical reasons so I will talk about me.
Since my return I have been doing my bit to help the T/S community but now have decided that this is not the right course for me.I have been to a couple of meetings and at every turn I am coming into contact with the trans arm of the LGBT group.To them there is only one way and it is their way.The way also seems to involve a great deal of self pity and a "them against us" mentality.
It may be that this is the way that most trans think and if so then I cannot class myself as trans.I am a woman,pure and simple.
I am lucky that I have Hannah and Debbie as friends.They take me as I am.
So the blog is open again but this time just as me,living my life as a woman but encumbered with the wrong body.
I miss her,of course,but the mornings are lovely. No rushing around to get her ready and the bathroom is mine,all mine!
We have been doing a lot of planning since we returned from holiday and I have been getting my life in some type of order.Our future plans are not set in stone yet due to medical reasons so I will talk about me.
Since my return I have been doing my bit to help the T/S community but now have decided that this is not the right course for me.I have been to a couple of meetings and at every turn I am coming into contact with the trans arm of the LGBT group.To them there is only one way and it is their way.The way also seems to involve a great deal of self pity and a "them against us" mentality.
It may be that this is the way that most trans think and if so then I cannot class myself as trans.I am a woman,pure and simple.
I am lucky that I have Hannah and Debbie as friends.They take me as I am.
So the blog is open again but this time just as me,living my life as a woman but encumbered with the wrong body.
Monday, 8 June 2009
Friday, 5 June 2009
Stealth calls?
Being so ill with this bloody unstable angina has got me thinking a bit.
When I go out to my little groups the people I meet have only ever known Julia and they like her.
Everybody in my road has known me in my previous life and the hostility is so great you can smell it,even Geraldine is starting to feel threatened.
The catalyst of this thought came about when Geraldine and I were out having afternoon tea at a NT property and I could see the couple of women on the next table eyeballing us.The radar ears came into operation and I picked up the word "lesbians".
I had a word with G afterwards ans she said "so what".
We have been kicking the matter about for a few days and are thinking of moving to a new area and living life as two women.
Nothing to keep us here any more.
When I go out to my little groups the people I meet have only ever known Julia and they like her.
Everybody in my road has known me in my previous life and the hostility is so great you can smell it,even Geraldine is starting to feel threatened.
The catalyst of this thought came about when Geraldine and I were out having afternoon tea at a NT property and I could see the couple of women on the next table eyeballing us.The radar ears came into operation and I picked up the word "lesbians".
I had a word with G afterwards ans she said "so what".
We have been kicking the matter about for a few days and are thinking of moving to a new area and living life as two women.
Nothing to keep us here any more.
Friday, 29 May 2009
The cost
Yesterday was my birthday. Never have done anything out of the ordinary but it used to be nice.
I got one card from my wife,thats all.
Believe me it meant a lot. She has stood by me through thick and thin.
However during my two years RLE it has made me realise that despite my efforts to keep communication open I have be dropped by everybody I used to know in my former life.
Sad but true.
I got one card from my wife,thats all.
Believe me it meant a lot. She has stood by me through thick and thin.
However during my two years RLE it has made me realise that despite my efforts to keep communication open I have be dropped by everybody I used to know in my former life.
Sad but true.
Sunday, 17 May 2009
Hormones or just me?
Hurt twice in one day and I don't think the person who hurt me is even aware that they did it.Perhaps it is time to stop manning the barricades and start digging a bloody deep trench.
This depression is getting so bad I just can't hide it any more.Will ring the doctors tomorrow for an appointment.
The highs come but they are followed by such terrible lows they are frightening me.Smiling on the outside and suffering on the inside
This depression is getting so bad I just can't hide it any more.Will ring the doctors tomorrow for an appointment.
The highs come but they are followed by such terrible lows they are frightening me.Smiling on the outside and suffering on the inside
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