Yesterday was my birthday. Never have done anything out of the ordinary but it used to be nice.
I got one card from my wife,thats all.
Believe me it meant a lot. She has stood by me through thick and thin.
However during my two years RLE it has made me realise that despite my efforts to keep communication open I have be dropped by everybody I used to know in my former life.
Sad but true.
Friday 29 May 2009
Sunday 17 May 2009
Hormones or just me?
Hurt twice in one day and I don't think the person who hurt me is even aware that they did it.Perhaps it is time to stop manning the barricades and start digging a bloody deep trench.
This depression is getting so bad I just can't hide it any more.Will ring the doctors tomorrow for an appointment.
The highs come but they are followed by such terrible lows they are frightening me.Smiling on the outside and suffering on the inside
This depression is getting so bad I just can't hide it any more.Will ring the doctors tomorrow for an appointment.
The highs come but they are followed by such terrible lows they are frightening me.Smiling on the outside and suffering on the inside
Friday 15 May 2009
Interesting
When I posted on the forum a couple of years ago about my broadcast on Radio Suffolk I was pretty well warned off but did it all the same.
Now one of our number who is not known for hiding her light(or her knickers) under a bushel has posted that she will be doing the same thing.
Will be very interested in the reaction to her.
Now one of our number who is not known for hiding her light(or her knickers) under a bushel has posted that she will be doing the same thing.
Will be very interested in the reaction to her.
Tuesday 12 May 2009
Looking after No 1
Had a long chat interspersed with loads of tears with my therapist on monday.
She pointed out that I am living my life for others and neglecting myself.Unfortunately this has been the case for as many years as I can remember.
I have been thinking back on how many cases there have been of calling people and being told that they meant to ring me,or arranging to meet people and they had forgotten.
I have put up with this for far to long and now it's time to think of me.
There are two important people in my life, Geraldine and Hannah.They have never let me down.
As for the rest they can go hang.I have seen them through the bad times and when my job has been done I have served my purpose and been forgotten.
She pointed out that I am living my life for others and neglecting myself.Unfortunately this has been the case for as many years as I can remember.
I have been thinking back on how many cases there have been of calling people and being told that they meant to ring me,or arranging to meet people and they had forgotten.
I have put up with this for far to long and now it's time to think of me.
There are two important people in my life, Geraldine and Hannah.They have never let me down.
As for the rest they can go hang.I have seen them through the bad times and when my job has been done I have served my purpose and been forgotten.
Saturday 9 May 2009
An incident
An incident happened this afternoon,which had nothing to do with trans but left me with a nasty taste in the mouth about human nature.
I was waiting to be served at the kiosk section of a supermarket.
There were three posiions,one for sales and two for customer sevice with quite a rush at the sales section.A woman asked if the customer service girl would mind serving her and when she did a chap who was waiting rushed forward saying he was there first.
Fair enough,he was but his attitude was of someone spoiling for a fight.The girl was half way through the sale so the chap started swearing at her,at first mildly then F word threatening.
All the customers just pretended it wasn't happening so me 5 foot 7 in my heels asked if he would moderate his language.The rest of the customers then pretended that I wasn't there either.
By this time I was just waiting for him to threaten me with a transphobic comment and I would have called the police and got the foul mouthed git arrested.
Then the security guard came along and asked him to leave the store for threatening language to a member of staff.
My question is if the public can stand back while a girl gets this type of abuse what hope is there for us if someone decides to give us a kicking?
The chap concerned was about six foot three and built like a brick outhouse but why was it only me who was prepared to take him on?
I was waiting to be served at the kiosk section of a supermarket.
There were three posiions,one for sales and two for customer sevice with quite a rush at the sales section.A woman asked if the customer service girl would mind serving her and when she did a chap who was waiting rushed forward saying he was there first.
Fair enough,he was but his attitude was of someone spoiling for a fight.The girl was half way through the sale so the chap started swearing at her,at first mildly then F word threatening.
All the customers just pretended it wasn't happening so me 5 foot 7 in my heels asked if he would moderate his language.The rest of the customers then pretended that I wasn't there either.
By this time I was just waiting for him to threaten me with a transphobic comment and I would have called the police and got the foul mouthed git arrested.
Then the security guard came along and asked him to leave the store for threatening language to a member of staff.
My question is if the public can stand back while a girl gets this type of abuse what hope is there for us if someone decides to give us a kicking?
The chap concerned was about six foot three and built like a brick outhouse but why was it only me who was prepared to take him on?
Monday 4 May 2009
Confessions
This evening I phoned the dearest,sweetest person in the world and mentioned that I had no idea what I was going to say to my therapist tomorrow.
After pouring my heart out over the phone I am now very well aware of the topic for the session.
After pouring my heart out over the phone I am now very well aware of the topic for the session.
Friday 1 May 2009
Now it can be said
I am a quiet kind of girl and never believe in saying anything until the "i"s are dotted and the "t"s crossed.
Two years ago I was told that due to my heart condition I would never be able to take hormones.Today I picked my prescription up.
In the last month I have a place on the Suffolk Diversty Planning Board,am going to be doing staff training for the NHS on trans issues and have been asked to set up the first official Suffolk Trans Support Group.When I saw my therapist yesterday I told her how lucky I was and she told me that I had made it happen.
The icing on the cake however was the delivery of some lovely flowers from Hannah,who means more to me than words can say.A wonderful friend.
Two years ago I was told that due to my heart condition I would never be able to take hormones.Today I picked my prescription up.
In the last month I have a place on the Suffolk Diversty Planning Board,am going to be doing staff training for the NHS on trans issues and have been asked to set up the first official Suffolk Trans Support Group.When I saw my therapist yesterday I told her how lucky I was and she told me that I had made it happen.
The icing on the cake however was the delivery of some lovely flowers from Hannah,who means more to me than words can say.A wonderful friend.
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