Sunday 22 February 2009

Masks

Back like a bad penny on the blog again.
Been doing a bit of self analysis,don't we all,and came up with a few answers.
Now I am not kidding myself that I can fool all the people all of the time but I am never challenged.Been told that I have an aura that folk darent or they would suffer the consequences.
I have a hard shell surrounding me which is there for a purpose.
I am aware that one reader of this blog(you know who you are sweetie) has been through the mill of abuse and rape.Despite how much therapy you go through that will never go away and you will make damned sure it will never happen again.
Underneath this hard shell I am very fragile but can only show my true self to those I trust(again the same person applies very much)
I said in my last post that I am suicidal but not in the way some may see it.It is not a cry for help or attention and though I feel that way I will never do it or I will let the buggers who hurt me win.
The self harming is another matter.It is a way of letting the pain I feel out.
I will survive and if I can help others through my own experiences then my life will have some meaning.

1 comment:

* said...

It astonishes me that you have so much to distract you yet still able to (ney, want to) help people in need. It upsets me that some of these people take advantage of your good and kind nature (as we have seen before).

I am so glad to read that comment about suicide, kinda brings a little piece of mind that even in the darkest, loneliest moments you have the inner strength the cope.

Self harming ......I'd like to email you about that if I may.

Loris x